Let’s all laugh at Tottenham

avb_spiralThe unrelenting and devastating spiral of negativity continues for Tottenham Hotsp*rs as husky voiced twatface Andres Villas Boas gets the chop following a 5-0 thrashing at home to Liverpool. Despite him having the second best win percentage of all Tottenham managers gone by, Levy saw fit to make him the 9th sacked manager in the last 13 years. The man that they had hoped to recruit in order to get them champions leauge qualification, Frank De Boer, has rejected their offer; and rightfully so. Ajax, the club he and Dennis Bergkamp manage, currently sit 2nd in the Eredivisie and will battle for yet another Dutch title this season. While on the other hand, sp*rs sit in mid-table obscurity with £100 million worth of underwhelming human excrement; but hey at least their pitch is immaculately fertilized. Ba dum tss.

What makes all the horrible things going on at Tottenham even sweeter for Gooners is the false hope that was so confidently flaunted at the beginning of the season. Pundits and spuds all over exclaimed how champions league qualification awaited them, as if it was already a done deal. Some even went on to say that their 7 new signings, having costed them over £104 million in total transfer fees, could even get them the title. In contrast, doom and gloom was all that was expected to await the boys in red and white. What is more likely to happen however, is Arsenal challenging for the title this season, while the puke inducing lillywhites will most probably appoint fictional character Mickey Mouse as their new manager and fight for a top 10 finish.

The putrid spuds at sh*te heart lane must now prepare for another cold and dark medieval winter, as the shadow, caste upon them by Arsenal, grows ever darker. Levy will inevitably order Adebayor and Soldado to go into unforgiving forests to harvest wood, while Dawson and Walker prepare boiled rat soup back at base. And all the while, Gooners worldwide will be enjoying the festive season in their warm homes, waiting patiently for Santi ‘Claus’ Cazorla to drop down their chimneys with a bag full of 3 points.

*Photograph courtesy of Copa90

Albanian Gooner @Trimiratkoceri

Gooner Ramble

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